Let’s Hear it for the Couch!

cinemaRecently, a local newspaper columnist extolled the virtues of going to a movie theater.  Among the reasons he cited were to “get out of the house” and to “see the flick while people are still talking about it.”  I couldn’t disagree more.  Here, in no particular order, are some of the reasons that I’m a DVD viewer in my own home:

1)    $9 (or is it higher now?)

2)    Moviegoers who are inconsiderate, rude and noisy and decide that there’s nothing wrong with using their cell phone or having an ongoing dialogue with their companions or with the characters on the screen.  Since when did this activity become audience participation?

3)    Why be forced to eat overpriced, stale popcorn, when at home, I can freshly prepare andcellmovie eat popcorn of my own choosing (light? Butter flavor? Low fat? No salt?) for about 30 cents.

4)    Sticky floors.

5)    Uncomfortable chairs.

6)    In the theater, you can’t pause the movie to make an astute comment to your companion or to ask a critical question of plot development, not to mention:

7)    Bathroom breaks.

8)    Adjustable sound level.  Just who is the average viewer that the movie houses are adjusting for?  If the sound isn’t blasting away at the decibel level of a jet plane approaching a runway, it’s so low or muddled I wonder if I truly am going deaf (no nasty comments).

9)    As for “see the flick while people are still talking about it,” well, they’re still talking about “Macbeth,” and I read that 360 years after it was written!

10) Those in-house commercials for the snack bar, no smoking, quiet, etc. are not what I’m paying my money to see.  I was once in a theater where they had the chutzpah to pass around a basket for contributions for something or other related to the film content. 

family_couchSo, I’ll stick with Netflix, thank you very much.  It’s the best thing since Bon Bons (anyone remember those?)  

12 Comments

  1. And as TVs get bigger and better plus you have a good sound system, it’s hard to tell the difference except that watching at home is way, way better. My fridge, my beer, my bathroom, my kitchen, my snacks (of any kind), my comfy leather recliner, plus rewind, fast forward, freeze frame, slo mo…

  2. The last movie date I went on with my husband, to a PG-13 movie, a 5 year old kicked my seat through the entire movie while his parents kept hissing at him to stop it. I’m done! I also can’t take how loud the movies usually are – it makes me feel old, but there it is.

  3. elmo

    You left out that for ten minutes one has to sit and watch coming attractions of movies that often have nothing attractive to offer on or more of the audience.

  4. P.S. iPad changed some of my meaning!

    • I can’t imagine IPad being that intelligent 🙂

  5. 1. Not for seniors!
    2. I can’t imagine that happening at any theatre other than one showing a teen slasher flick.
    3. We can afford it!
    4 & 5. We do a lot – I mean a LOT – of movies and have never, ever experienced either.
    6 & 7. We both prefer no interruptions at all.
    8. Agreed, but the free headphones are as useful as at the Broadway theatres.
    9. Alas, we usually have no one to talk to about them because most friends seem to concur with what you’ve said!
    10. I used to loudly boo those things but no longer care. Our two favorite theaters do not run them. Those that do, well, it’s just part of the ritual.

    • I can also afford a $3 pretzel in NY but refuse to fork it over.

  6. Jordana

    Don’t forget bed bugs!! And you can watch in your pajamas!

    • Easily Reasons #11 and 12! Thanks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Linda Vernon Humor

Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind

wordgeeks.wordpress.com/

a blog about language and wordly pleasures

Terribly Write

Terrible Writing on the Web. And Writing Terribly Well for the Web

(A)Musings by Arlene

Interesting Thoughts to Ponder........

Logos con carne

Another voice in the interweb wilderness

Mostly Bright Ideas

Some of these thoughts may make sense. But don't count on it.

The Millennium Conjectures™

A Blog of the Ridiculous and Sublime, by Mark Sackler

%d bloggers like this: