You know how in “Groundhog Day” he relives the same day over and over? I had a day last week that I’d rather never see again. I’m sure some of the events would make you chuckle … “you think that’s bad? Let me tell you about this!” But to me, it was the full experience, as the Germans say, the Gestalt that caused me to title this as I did.
My Monday started with a lousy sleep. Now, let me tell you … I’m a good sleeper. Yesterday, for example, I went to bed at 11 pm and woke up at 10:30 am. But on the day I write about, my middle-of-the-night bathroom visit was followed by lying awake for 2 hours. I dozed off, and finally woke at an ungodly hour of 7 am.
My day starts with weighing myself. I had gained 3 pounds!! From a mere dinner out. Vietnamese noodle soup!! Convincing myself it was only salt retention (it was, I dropped the weight the next day), I dressed and eventually headed out for a lecture on Velazquez at a local center that will remain nameless. Before settling in, I went to the café for coffee and encountered a machine I had never seen before, had no instructions, and was not intuitive. None of the 4 choices on the screen suited me (I wanted decaf). I figured if I chose “coffee”, coffee I would get, but I did see packets of tea, coffee, hot chocolate, decaf, etc. alongside it. The question was: where does one insert a package? Nothing opened up except the place to fill with water. I finally got the receptionist to show me (not to bore you here with how) and I asked “how many people have to get help with this? He said, “Everyone, but once you show them, they know for the next time.” “How about a little card with instructions?” I shot back. Prepared to put my $1 in the basket, he said, “Credit card only.” Since the lecture was about to begin, I said, I’ll come back. I approached the lecturer and apologized ahead of time that I had to leave15 min. early. The lecturer not only mispronounced Velazquez and chiaroscuro, but knew less than I about his paintings. She kept repeating, “marvelous, beautiful, exquisite, masterful” and told nothing about why he was so well-regarded. With each inept comment, my departure time got earlier and earlier. I finally left ½ hour into the 1 ½ hour talk.
My next stop, after breakfast, was yoga, a new class for me. Arriving at 1:00 for (what I thought was a 1:15 class), the class had already started. So much for getting off on the right foot!
Home again, our tax statement had arrived in the mail from our accountant. The one good piece of news was we didn’t owe as much as we had thought we would. However, in the same batch of mail, was a corrected 1099 from our financial investment company! So, I would have to bring it over to the accountant for adjustment!
I left my house at 3:15 for what my GPS said was a 20 minute ride to an appointment. When I got on the parkway, my GPS gaily announced “20 minute delay.” Miraculously arriving only 5 minutes late, I was moved along to prepare for a cardiac MRI (nothing serious, folks, fear not) and the nurse discovered that my heart was beating so fast (no surprise!) the results might come out blurry. I had a choice to reschedule or hope for the best. I chose the latter. Three days later the results came back … OK.
What I needed at night was a glass of wine but did I tell you I recently developed high blood pressure? And alcohol should be eliminated or at least cut back? I settled for meditation. Ommmmmmmmmmmmm