I’ve Got More Questions (part 3)
About a year ago, I wrote two pieces in which I posed intriguing questions:
To read each of those blogs, click here: http://wp.me/p2HouS-i4 and here: http://wp.me/p2HouS-iB
Now I have more questions.
What’s with all the fancy shmancy pizza choices? Isn’t the whole point of eating pizza to have somewhat of a decadent, yummy-belly feeling? Who’s ordering those salad pizzas, gluten-free, or (gasp!) whole wheat pizzas? Why not just order a plate of quinoa and beans and be done with it?
Speaking of pizza (you’ll understand the connection in a sec), who’s writing the math questions on the Common Core tests? Here’s one I just learned was on the 5th grade assessment: Nine people each ate 2/8 of a small pizza. Two other people each ate 3/8 of a small pizza. What is the total amount of pizza eaten by all the people? Now, if these 11 people are all feasting on ONE small pizza, it can’t be done because the total eaten according to the data is 3 pizzas! The multiple choice answers were absurd. Hello!?!
When did I become invisible? I’m a relatively young-looking 70 year old (some have guessed my age at 55) but when I walk into a store, I might as well be dead. Unless I’m the only person there, my needs, questions and helpless expression go unnoticed. Especially in a beauty and make-up shop. Busily attending to 30-somethings, sales associates carry on lively conversations and offer helpful comments but not for me. As I exit, I curse under my breath, “Wait until they’re MY age,” but it does nothing to assuage my public insignificance.
Why can’t relatively intelligent people learn how to properly use subject and object pronouns? Many years ago, a friend of mine, who happened to be an English teacher said, “When I make dinner for you and I, I’m going to bake a great dessert!” Not to be discouraged in my never-ending quest for better language usage, I corrected her. She said, “Oh, in school I make sure to use the correct form but it sounds so much better the way I just said it.” Huh?
And finally, when are we going to get the definitive word on what’s a healthy daily diet? At different times, we’ve heard all about the wonders of no-fat, low-fat, high-fat, wheat bran, oatmeal, vitamins, whole wheat, whole grain, real food, butter, no sugar, no dairy, macrobiotic, Paleo diet, Dr. Atkins, Pritikin, nuts and seeds. Are we simply going from fad to fad without end? Years ago, I visited my 95-year old aunt. As was my custom, I brought along my own modest breakfast to eat with her: yogurt, fruit, a low-fat muffin and herbal tea. She dined on bread and butter, sour cream with strawberries and coffee with real cream. Looking at my meal, she said, “I know I shouldn’t eat such rich food….” “Aunt Sue,” said I, “you’re 95 years old. I wouldn’t start worrying about it now!” She lived another 5 years.
- Posted in: Complaint Department ♦ Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation ♦ Mathematics ♦ Miscellaneous
- Tagged: diets, Grammar, humor, Pizza, questions, seniors
Being old and unrecognizable had enabled us to ‘junior” prices at the movies for years!
Also, my husband and me (intentional grammar tweak) feel strongly that although Westchester is full of Italian Pizzerias, you can always go to NY for a really good slice, and BTW, I hear that west of NY
people eat it flat: they don’t fold it!
I’ll revert back to previous compliments.
But did you ever have the salads pizza at Roma in Ridgefield?
Doesn’t interest me AT ALL. I eat lots of salad at home. And, FYI, I was never a fan of pizza until The Colony!
Very much on the mark, especially and grammar. I and my wife feel yours is a very unique column.