My Horrible, Bad Week

Arlene Blackman Yolles ♦ September 11, 2013 ♦ 8 Comments

Guess a new Pedicure will Have to Wait

If I had to choose a week in my life that I could erase, it would be this last one. Not one to embrace change, I just suffered through researching a new mattress purchase (second only to dealing with used car salesmen in frustration level); having to switch over from my cell phone (which I finally mastered!) to a Smart Phone; getting used to a new 2014 car with more computer gizmos than I’ve ever seen in any machine; hosting an annual family event that takes 3 days to set up and the same to put everything back in place; and a broken toe.

Let’s start with the toe. Remember the annual event? Part of setting up requires that a dozen folding chairs be removed from their year-long hiding places in our relatively small home and then returned. Since they reside behind winter coats, skeins of old yarn, bottles of aging wine and large caches

Waiting for a Klutz to Bump Into

of paper goods, neither I nor my husband relish either job. So, after the event, they

remained in a location just perfect for bumping into when walking into a dark room. Which I did. At first I thought I just stubbed the toe. Then I looked and it was turned at a 60 degree angle from the toe next to it. Not a good sign. The doctor in the ER said it was fractured and dislocated. He proceeded to numb it with 2 excruciating shots and to then manually relocate it (we both heard a reassuring crack that signaled success).

Now, what’s so bad about a broken pinkie toe? Let me tell you: I’m not a stay-at-home type of person. I walk fast, exercise regularly, fill my calendar with activities, bike, swim, walk and am basically a moving target unless I’m drunk. Now I wear a weird-looking shoe. Now I sit. I have time to write this blog post. I have time to read the 62-page manual that came with my Smart Phone and the 2 inch thick manual that came with my new car. (Didja ever notice how they don’t put numbers on each page, but, rather chapter and section, like 13-2?)

Soon, I’ll attempt to drive. I’ll have to remove the funny shoe and put on a sandal. I’ll also have to figure out how to hook up Blue Tooth and what the Multi-Information Display control in the car is. And try not to step on the clutch every time I start it, as I used to for the last 50 years of driving; this car is an automatic. I am happy to report, however, that I did figure out how to text with my new Smart Phone so now I can do that while I drive like all the other nuts on the road. Only kidding.

What the???

In another post, I’ll teach you a little about shopping for mattresses. In the meantime, here’s advice in one-word: futon.