I am dealing with a Mouse Problem in the house and learning a lot. First, you will need to know that I have been assigned the job of extermination and that I am happy to rise to the occasion. Why has my competent, knowledgeable husband appointed me to be the General of the War? I’m relentless, I’m persistent and I’m ruthless. I won’t quit until the job is done!
First, I phoned the local Nature Center and asked about getting rid of these pests. Mistake. Their pest control advice is to feed them kale and chia seeds, lull them gently with Chopin etudes and hope that they leave for better environs. Poison them? Not part of their philosophy. Their operative word is “humane.”
On to Home Depot where the merchandise for dealing with household pests (rodents, bugs, bedbugs, etc.) is staggering. So, too, was the number of people grabbing items off the shelves. Must be a good year for mice! However, no poison! Nevertheless, the variety and number of choices of devices are astounding: glue traps, old wooden snap traps, new plastic snap traps (see, and you thought no one could build a better mouse trap!), non-poisonous pellets and bait traps. I chose a few different options and went home, a determined warrior.
And, yes, the skirmishes in this war have begun. Casualties so far: mice – 7, me – 0. I’m an expert in putting peanut butter on wooden traps and (more importantly) not smashing my finger; putting down a glue trap without touching the glue, using a stick to push a dead mouse into a bag and recognizing mouse poop. The war goes on. I will persevere until I no longer hear them in the ceilings and the walls nor see their poop.
You will not see any images of dead mice on this post lest PETA shut me down. But the Nature Center will be happy to hear that I say Kaddish* before disposing of each one and wish, for each, that there is an eternal after-life where it can peacefully exist happily ever after.
*a Jewish prayer recited by mourners at public services in a synagogue after the death of a close relative