Short Take: Comments and Epigrams

Arlene Blackman Yolles ♦ May 20, 2018 ♦ 2 Comments

As a teacher, one of the most difficult things I had to do was come up with comments for the report card.  Of course, when I taught in High School, no comments were needed.  A simple number grade, like 92, was sufficient.  Sometimes the administration got it into their heads that a number was too defining, it needed to be something with more breadth, like a B+.  I know that in one school where I taught, there were to be no minuses.  No one was an A-; if their average was 90-94, it was to be listed as an A.  Having a minus after their grade was too demeaning and threatened to deflate their self-esteem.  But I digress.  I began talking about comments.  I want to share with you the best one I ever wrote for a 5^th grade student:

Samantha’s strong apathy is evident in class and is counterproductive to the acquisition of knowledge.  (Translation: Samantha doesn’t give a shit and isn’t learning anything!)

My favorite note from a parent in a rural community where I taught 7^th grade math was: Sorry that Billy doesn’t have his homework today; the goat ate it.

Here’s a witticism that I love: The best of us talk about ideas; most of us talk about things; the worst of us talk about people.  Now doesn’t that just say it all?  It kinda runs the gamut from TED talks to People Magazine.

Before I sign off, will everyone who believes in telekinesis please raise my hand?